List of rules, conduct, and etiquette if you are interested in getting tattooed by ME:

If you don’t know what you want tattooed, or have no realistic timeframe, I will not set up an appointment with you until you do. It’s not my job to decide what you should get tattooed. This is probably the most important information in here, seriously… I do not GET AROUND TO drawing something up for people who are thinking about, toying with the idea of, or generally not committed to getting a tattoo. If you need to see a drawing before making an appointment, we have a consultation at which time you pay me a deposit that will go towards your tattoo appointment upon approval of your design. Deposits are non-refundable because you are paying for my time to draw for you…if you get the tattoo it comes off the price. If you can’t even do the preliminary foot work part about getting tattooed, you are not ready to get a tattoo.

Please be realistic in your expectations of a tattoo. I cannot put the Sistine Chapel on your elbow, nor fit everything you have ever loved or thought looked cool in one tattoo. A consultation is how we work together to formulate a realistic design that we are both happy with. I am not a mind reader.  I have a lot of experience gleaning design ideas from stick figures on napkins, notes from dream journals, sketches on post-its, or crayon on paper plates…but you gotta give me something. After I draw up the first draft, and show it to you for your approval. It is okay to say no. it is more than ok to have several stages of development, especially for very large pieces. This is going to be on your body for the rest of your life, and you have every right to want it done perfectly. Telling me afterward that it’s not exactly what you had in mind will not do either of us any good. Communication is key.

Please do not ask my thoughts and opinions on ANY of the tattoo related TV shows…I do not watch them. I will only say that they are mostly inaccurate and over dramatized for entertainment.  Tattooing is already my reality.

Please, DO NOT try to bargain with the price quote, DO NOT brag or make offhand remarks like “My friend so-and-so said his tattoo only cost $75, and it’s even smaller than mine is going to be!”  Be polite–tattoo prices are not up for discussion. DO NOT COMPARE WHAT I DO TO ANYONE WHO IS WORKING ILLEGALLY OUT OF A HOUSE!! Going rates worldwide are between 100 to 200 dollars per hour for most artists who are not on TV. My shop minimum is $60….from one dot to about the size of a 50 cent piece. If you think you desperately need a tattoo, but want to complain about how poor you are; your priorities are messed up.  As an ink addict, I understand the urge, but check yourself.

You must be at least 18 years of age to receive a tattoo from me. ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS. This also means you have to behave like a grownup when getting tattooed by me.

Do NOT consume any alcoholic beverages within the same day prior to getting your tattoo. I will not tattoo you if I smell alcohol.  It’s rude to me and against the law. We can discuss legitimate interventions for pain and anxiety at a consultation.

I like kids. I am a mom. A tattoo studio is not a place for children. Please, DO NOT bring your children in the shop, and do not leave them in the car. If you have children, you need to get childcare during your tattoo.

You don’t need an entourage. You can fb, tweet, and tag the event all you want, but keep your cheering squad and support staff to a minimum of two people in addition to yourself…I like to have a good time while I work, but I also need to focus on what I am doing.

Be honest with yourself and me. I cannot do a quality tattoo on a client that fidgets nervously, talks with their hands, writhes in agony, moves excessively, is freakishly ticklish, or has personal space issues… It’s okay to be nervous, but try to keep your emotions in check. You can bring a calm hand holder, head phones, or your special woobie blankie.  I am covered in tattoos. I know they can hurt like hell. I know it is possible and normal to experience chills, sweating, nausea, fainting, and even some tears. However, I do not give out academy awards. I want you to feel safe even if you need to barf, but excess drama is unnecessary.

Please follow your aftercare procedure accurately. I took the time to write out directions that reflect my years of experience doing and getting tattoos. Do NOT ask your friends or anyone else how to take care of your tattoo, or proceed to tell me how. If you are already tattooed, and have a system that works well for you, great. I am always available to answer questions.

Yes, tattoo artists get tips. Ten to twenty percent is usually a good amount. For example, $20 on a $100 tattoo. BUT, $5 and $10 is still totally appreciated, $1 is a weird insult that makes me think I did something to offend you.

And Finally, IF YOU ARE SICK, RE-SCHEDULE YOUR APPOINTMENT. I cannot stress how important this is. If you got the ick, I don’t want it…really.